Between: A guide for parents of eight to thirteen-year-olds

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She notes: ‘If they aren’t old enough to understand logic, how are they going to understand the logic between you hitting them, and their behaviour?’

Chapter 13 is the final chapter, which is no coincidence. It feels right to leave you at the age when your child becomes a true teenager – the official end of the tween years. Parting is the theme of this chapter: how to let go and give your child wings to fly (especially when you feel like holding on tight) is something many struggle with. How much independence is too much, or too little? And how do you cope with your own feelings as your child reaches towards looming adulthood. Although this book is about your tween, it is also about you as a parent, and it feels fitting to end with a chapter that concerns you as much as your child. After all, you will always be standing at one end of that bridge, watching with pride as your child continues their journey through the in between, but ready and waiting with open arms should they need to return to you again. This is because children look to their parents to learn how to behave, explains Early Years Consultant Vanessa Dooley. If parents react to strong emotions by hitting, children will think that violence is an appropriate response to anger. Why Your Baby's Sleep Matters (Pinter & Martin Why It Matters 1)". Pinter & Martin Publishers . Retrieved 19 April 2016. If you’re new to Gentle Parenting and would like to learn more about the specifics, then my Gentle Parenting Book is a good place to start. It covers 0-7yrs. Whatever worries tweens may have about the transition to a new school, the two most important responses from parents and carers are, firstly, to listen and, secondly, to empower them to cope with their concerns. The following tips can help with the latter:Between also offers advice on coping with your own feelings as your child moves through this busy developmental period, and how to let go and give them wings to fly. The tween years can be a difficult period for parent and child alike, but your openness and support is key to building the relationship that you will have with your child for the rest of their life. Between is the handbook that will guide you across the bridge from childhood into adolescence, together with your child. Vairāk par visu bērniem ir vajadzīga mūsu beznosacījuma mīlestība – vienalga, vai viņi gūst panākumus vai pieļauj kļūdas, kad dzīve ir viegla un kad dzīve ir grūta. So, with this in mind I’ve tried to come up with my idea of the definition of gentle parenting, ultimately I think it can be summed up with three words:

Even if the school is running settling-in sessions, ask if you can have a video tour of the building, or at least some photos of your child’s new form room and form tutor. Familiarising themselves with these before the beginning of term can help them to feel more comfort- able when they start. We need to be promoting and encouraging children to learn how to regulate their own emotions and behaviour through learning how to breathe and regulate,’ she adds. ‘Instead of having outbursts they learn to control their own behaviour but this can only be done if we co-regulate our own emotions too.’ Gentle discipline calls for parents to work with their children to resolve problems that underlie their difficult behaviour, rather than acting punishing out on them.Time passes in the blink of an eye. Surely it was only yesterday when that warm, mewing bundle was placed in your arms, eyes fixing on yours with all the intensity and knowing of an old soul who has lived many times before, yet in a tiny body, so fragile and new. Through sleepless nights and weary days, you came to know each other. Your world and your priorities shifted, and you slowly assumed a new identity that centred upon your child. A child who orbited you like a satellite, with you the safety of a home planet and the constant pull of gravity keeping you tied as one. Their dependence on you sometimes felt so very heavy, so all- consuming, and there were days (and many nights) when you reminisced and wished for your carefree past.

Do let your tween’s form tutor and whoever is responsible for student wellbeing know if they are feeling very anxious before starting. Often, schools have special settling-in procedures for tweens who they think will struggle. Sarah has authored 14 parenting books, translated into over 30 languages, which have sold over half a million copies. She is currently writing her 15th –‘ How to Raise a Teen‘

Summary

Try to get hold of a map of the school before they start, so they can familiarise themselves with the entrance, their form, the school hall, the canteen and the toilets. Try to buy any uniform needed several weeks before the start of term, so that your tween can wear it around the house, including new shoes (blisters in the first week aren’t fun). If they must wear a tie as part of their new uniform, keep practising at home until they are a pro at tying it. I found the chapter on raising a financially literate tween one of the most interesting and am already putting ideas I read into place to open these conversations and teach money management. There is a lot of food for thought as well as practical tips on how to prepare our tweens for real life. The following are some of the most common anxieties tweens experience before the move to a new school, according to research: Watch Sarah chatting about the contents of her new book ‘Because I Said So’ on Good Morning Britain below:

He’s in full support of the law change, ‘because a child’s right to protection from physical assault (a legal protection adults enjoy) matters more than a parent’s right to assault their child.’

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The early chapters focus a lot on how it isn't hormones necessarily to blame for those changes but the brain and I am already finding this new understanding to be powerful when it comes to how I approach my own tweens. The CEO of NSPCC, Peter Wanless, doesn’t agree with the criticism that this is ‘new age dogma’ that will lead to a ‘snooping’ culture. So much has been written about toddlers and teenagers that I was under the impression that these middle years were the smooth bit. As a parent of a ten year old I am now very aware that there is already a lot going on and I feel like two different people inhabit his body sometimes. The child I had, and the teen he is preparing to grow into. This is the first book I have seen that covers this 'between' stage and I like Sarah Okwell-Smith's approach to parenting so I was excited to see if it would help me navigate these pre teen changes. I don't tend to read parenting books often but I am happy to accept any help to equip me through these challenges, especially knowing I have another four children to guide through this stage.