The Very Best of Fesshole: Britain Confesses Anonymously

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The wild, the wonderful, the frankly unbelievable and the downright disgusting. Under the anonymity of the internet people confess their most embarrassing secrets and it might not be good for their souls, but it's great for the readers!'Richard K Herring And another: "Completely ruined one morning after a heavy session I somehow managed to make a bacon sandwich and cup of tea. I put brown sauce in my tea instead of on my butty. I didn't have the mental ability to make another one so drank it. It tasted lovely and I've done it every since."

I once filled an entire C90 cassette with recordings of my farts. I wish I still had it. I would say it's my life's greatest achievement. I'm a partner in a firm of Solicitors and I'm 63. From ways to avoid embarrassment to revenge tactics, here are Rob's favourite confessions, with each one based on a makeshift commandment that he warns people should take "very, very seriously"...Hilarious! The only guide any alien would need to find out what humans are really like’ David Schneider THIS NEWSLETTER FAILED ITS A-LEVELS AND IS GOING TO SCUNTHORPE POLYTECHNIC TO STUDY BISCUIT TECHNOLOGY" I once dumped a perfectly nice girl because she sliced her toast vertically. Looked her up, shes now a rich lawyer. I am an idiot. Working as a solicitor I have to do loads of anti-money laundering training; how to spot it, what methods are used, new developments in techniques, etc. As a result, I'd be really good at money laundering and I think I'd enjoy the creative challenge more than the day job. I'm not telling you what the lesson is. I'm saying you need to read it and find your own meaning and important lessons of humanity." He later quips: "There's a lot of advice in there on how to screw people over in your office".

I've been a practising lawyer now for 12 years. I still don't really understand what 'beyond all reasonable doubt' actually means.Rob spent the last 20 years building interactive web projects, including message board b3ta.com. He started Fesshole with an open invitation from his personal account three years ago asking if people would like to anonymously confess their sins. After a heavy drinking session, I shat the bed. Told the wife it was the dog to avoid embarrassment. The size and stench was so bad that she took him to the vet, and found out he was showing early signs of stomach cancer. I inadvertently saved my dog but can never take credit." A REFERENDUM IS WHEN A COUNTRY HATES ITSELF VERY MUCH AND DECIDES TO HAVE A PROXY WAR INSTEAD OF GETTING A PUPPY" I have literally no idea what I'm doing at work and I've been here 8 months. I just sit and edit a fake Excel spreadsheet to make me look busy."

My wife passively aggressively points out my failings to the dog when I'm in earshot. I tell her this is pathetic, but when she goes out, I sit him down and give him my account of events at length." I used to do admin for a firm of solicitors. 80% of them were absolute morons. I have no idea how people so stupid got qualified or continued to be employed.

It is an anthology though, so to be fair if there are a couple you don't quite like, there's another one following straight after. There are so many, and on such a wide range of topics, that it's almost a guarantee that there will be something in here that will make you laugh. And if that doesn't convince you, there are some beautiful illustrations in there as well. I work with my own gut feeling," he said. "The stuff I don't publish is because I think it would be wrong to put it in front of a large audience.